Nov 6, 2011

I WISH.....

...i could be on my own all day long
...i couldn't drop my tears
...i laugh all the time throughout my years
...i still a small kid that no one care to judge
...i've nothing to think about
...there's no one know me
...i could stand up properly without care what other people say
...i could be everything

...there is no love exist in my life so there is nothing make me think about the fucking sad thing n make me cried every single minute.. when there is no love i could feel i will never ever feel any pain no more hurt can make my heart dying..but who am i want to wish for something like that bcoz there is only ALLAH ALMIGHTY..everything that happened to us for every second have been written by ALLAH.. that's also relate with the fact of life..we never ever satisfies for one thing that we've owned..once we've got the thing that we want they will be came with another one other thing to teach us how to make a decision in our life..
that's what we called an EXPERIENCE.. this words seem so simple but actually there is sumthing hiding behind  this who lack in life's experience will hard to find way out from any trouble.. this is not the purpose y i came out wif this post.. i've been through a complicated life for now..i've fall in love after about 3 years i haven't felt this way since my LOVE LIFE has gone three years ago far,far away from me.. on that time my heart is completely broke into a pieces.. that CRIMINAL has stole my heart n to show that he's still kind a person he'd returned it back to me but on that time it is already in form of pieces.. so i've took it with a cried on my face n yet no one know that i'm dying in the inside.. i live on my own even i'm surround wif all of my frends but still i'm in my own world,the 'DARK' one.. i've tried to fix it on my own even i've made it to recombine the pieces back but still the scar is there bcoz a broken heart can be pieced back together,it might be a heart again but still a broken one..

forget about stupid damn sad thing n go on wif my life until i'd found this guy that make me fall in back once again.. everyday i pray so i could see him near me and ALLAH fulfill that for me give me a chance to fall in love again.. day by day i saw him but hard for me to say a single word to him cos i've got a butterfly in my stomach everytime i saw him around so it is impossible for me to talk to him.. one on the unexpected day ever in my life he asked for my phone number then i asked him C or M he choose the M one thought i'm not always used that number but still activated so i gave it to him.. week by week rite after that we've been so close to each other until he'd win to stole my whole heart.. lots of things i've done to him but still he can forgive me for all of my mistakes.. TENKIU MY DEAR.. without u know every time u forgive me i've tried not to hurt u anymore but yet i still not understand you.. u've warn me so many time not to make a same mistakes but still i've make a wrong in same part but doesn't mean it's not hurting me too.. i've felt that pain the same as u feel even i know the pain that u feel are much stronger than mine.. since i'm still a human being i couldn't escape from make a mistake.. now everything not same as bfore i only could pray n nvr stop praying.. i just want u to know that i write a letter to you in my journal every night bcoz u're to busy to talk to me now,one day i may give them to you but for now i just go to bed every night with you in my mind and the understanding i'm not in yours..