Nov 23, 2012

up another one

story of two days ago..
lets begin our new chapter with the old journey in my life.21st of november was my day.!
the day before,i was like doing some other kind of activity which i also have no idea what name should be given to the activity but all i know it is soooo fucking bored but i used to laugh at some part and consider it as fun,perhaps.. the sound of the cricket rubs it wings that could stunned everybody who hear it was the sign of a silent night.. at our house which located at the third floor of the block there're only three of us left and for sure no interesting things to do unless dealing with book and open up a gossip with my roommate that sometime we break the silent late night with our giggling and laughing..
yeahhh.. *take a breath*
at 12 mid night there's someone coming and knock our wooden door asking either if my other housemate was here cause got "something" to show her(hanis) and suddenly they singing out loud outside our house with a birthday song and both of us lisa and me were so surprise and we just remember that she used to tell us about it before.. and the day was moving so fast until the clock sharply pointed at 8 o'clock in the night..
where the other housemate brings all of us out for dinner to celebrate hanis's birthday.. 
the sound of the car's engine make our plan goes smoothly and we reached at the restaurant.. once we enter the restaurant its all had been set up  with the food on the table and all we have to do is just eat that.. so dramatically !

make a short movies !
they bring out the cakes and suddenly its also written my name on it.. and they know my birthday but celebrate it one day before.. awesomeeaahhh ! on my "day" some of my friends at this college celebrate my birthday and drive me out to stay up all night in the Penang area and here i would like to say a very BIGG THANK YOUUU to all of youu.. 

what ever it is right now i really have no idea what else should i write cause i feel so tired and still want to write something so this old story never be the history and is written in the future..   

ouhh ! one more thing.. i would like to give a credit to those who wish me in the social networking.. that was awesome you guys.. i just able to like your post,full heart 'like'..

Nov 11, 2012

miles away from home

hello Sunday !
today is already 11.11.12 and it was a beautiful date for this year,i suppose to be home at this time,at this moment.
yeah i already 19,i need to learn how to live without fully depends on home and most of things i had before i was here, but its a week break and i really think i need to go home now.. for sure its too late to think about being home now cause i should make that decision 3 days ago so i will never feel regret in the end.
now i started to miss my old friends.. all of them..! arab yusry,diyana azizan,scha alia,atiqah mustapa,aiman butang and etc. it feels like heaven if i can meet all of them and spend a long day together sharing about our new life and everything.. i miss all of you so badly..! true friendship that never end even future had tears all of us apart. wish there's no end in our friendship and wish all of you know how wonderful it is if we could meet each other. 

Nov 6, 2012

bounce back


it is not something that could stop me from move on or walk forward.. i take it as a lesson and i promise it wont happen again.. never ever again ! not all the time we belong at the top thus most of the time life brings something that could take us down and everything is depend on how we judge it,how we learn from it and how we put our effort on it. failure is not forever it just in a mean time whenever we forget what had happened on the bottom and where does we belong before we get at the top. 

the second mini test doesn't gave me a great result and i have no idea which part did i miss until i got that lowest marks in my entire life i have ever sat for examinations. maybe i spend less of my time on study,maybe i take it easy on the certain part of the words in the notes or maybe this is not my sustenance yet.. only Allah have the answer.. all i have to do now is pray,pray and never stop praying cause that's what i suppose to do as His servant.. my secret weapon.! 

Nov 5, 2012

still young girl

yeah that's me !
i think 19 is still young.. we can make our own decision but we could stand with the decision without any advice or opinion from people around us who always stand for us.
its time to move on and think what is the best for our own self but dont forget the consequences cause no one want the bad end so expect the future wish for better.

no thought to have a lover yet so stop asking me why and just be with me without thinking about who am i with or what type of person that suit me cause i have such along journey to go and much more step to take.. for this while to be in love doesn't matter and not the current issue that we should think about. just follow what life bring us and bring life to what we suppose to be. even now you was at the bottom bounce back to be at the top and once you already at the top dont forget where you're belong cause it will never stay for long.. everything that we've owned now not fully belong to us.. at one mean time He will take it back so be thankful and cheers every moment in your life as humble person who always know how to walk on the land that doesn't belong to us. 

Oct 20, 2012

first attempt !

story of last weekend..,
woke up at 11 am and my other housemate suggest to make the home-made spaghetti and they all brought the ingredient and we start with our plan. With no experience in cooking,with no knowledge about the method of making the spaghetti we just run with it ignoring what would be the result. Rice cooker was our pan and the plate was our chopping board.
tong,tang,tong,tang !
its already 2 pm and the spaghetti are save cook by all of us..
here's the lunch menu during weekend for 8 of us.. 

hoping for the perfect end

fuuhh..! *tiup habuk*
hello universe ! yeahh i'm still breathing and still know how to use the keyboard and surely still remember my blog's password. once i've step in here and write the entry title i couldn't turn back means i'm going to crap as many as i could.but its not really crapping-krebby-patty its more to tell most of journal for my whole journey here at has been a month i'm staying here without worried,without married and without merit. haa? let's make great use of time !
The journey begin....,
with my first step to this kind of not really well-known university college at Kepala Batas,Penang named Allianze University College of Medical Science i know that i cannot have another step to go back home every weekend cause it took 9 hours from here machaa.or if i really need to go back home i might left my butt in the bus and surely i dont  want it to happen so yeahh i'm goin to spend my weekend being here without any thought to be at it means that i'm homeless ? that's the other part of journey i expect it to be perfect but it start with the worse part and need to wait for another 5 more years to see how does it end. living cabin ! nope ! we all their student given a key to enter to our home where we get in whenever we lost,dont know where else to go,got no interesting place to hang out.
Teacher's Quaters !
this is the place where i live now and another 5 years.the place kind of spooky.the time i enter to this kind of place its like entering the caunseling room during my high school where the teacher ask me "why did you bring your phone to school?". -.- since i have no right to choose where i want to live so i have to accept it with open mind even i already closed my mind to accept it.three rooms with two bathroom and got balcony,kitchen with no kitchen's cabinet due to the termites and large enough living room for 6 person.
no matter how hard i complain i already in so i dont have to think much about it and do my job as a student the medicine and being called as medical student makes me be more confident to say that i dont have much time to talk to you cause if i'm in the other course people might doubt me when i said "sorry i am busy right now".. ahahaha *gila* hehh,kisah pulak ! going through this first month perfectly even sometime the house make a fool with all of their visitors here.the electricity was very poor for you to know ! when i'm doing my work the lamp turn off and when i sleep the fan turn off. i also didn't get the point here. most of time i feel like doctors should learn how to handle the technician work since we all need to deal with the fuse box everytime there is no stable electric connection. so its normal if many doctors know how to fix any cable by itself without depends on technician. =.=' panas betol !
finish with living cabin and balcony all..!
now move to our assignment.medical student were asked to watch movies related to our course which the story are all about the hospital life and the part that i'm in between where i dont even know either i should smile or laugh which been asked to write a reflective essay for that its totally confusing me. is the doctors have to write such a long essay when they done diagnosis their patient.? or they want every of the doctors to write their own books once they got their license.. ouh or they want us to involve in politic life.. no,no,no.! its not gonna happen. not in a million years.(not complain !) just wondering.. life full of thought i guess so i have my right to think that way. :D

the awesome part being medical student was their books.. look here there're our books that we need to deal with for this first year only and buy another for second year and another for third year and another for fourth year and more on the fifth year,finally my book's rack become library.awesome haa.. =.=" but thats what we called sacrifices.. we may through such a tough life during study but we will enjoy doing our work in the end. treat people who in need,make people realise how important to keep healthy and make the coffee be our bestfriend(not healthy).

we live with books,we talk about books and we sleep with books.without realising that we already done that.! srapp *selak buku* means this entry had come to it end.thank you everyone for watching this movie.. have a good day ! *big smile*

Sep 23, 2012

what is facebook ?

since i've sick with this social networking so i decide to deactivate the account and acting like i don't know what exactly is going on.. and pretending like i dont have one ! that's cool ! the main reason why i hate this social networking because i feel everyone was like waa facebook..! busteng sangat..
facebook is nothing and it just wasting my time when i scroll it down and up but there's nothing change.. maybe i will be back when i think facebook was cooler than the other social networking in the future,perhaps 

college life

everything had change started from the first day i went here,Penang..
not enough time to care about my social networking and also time for myself to taking care of but it is end till i came to weekend.. the orientation week was so damn pathetic,i just got a sunburn due to the outdoor activity.. everyone was confused why must we followed such that things since we've sign for doctor but we need to get through the whole one week just like soldier.. bit confusing there !
for today's entry there no photo to be uploaded cause had no time to choose for something better.. happy reading you guys. promised to post all the photos during the orientation week later on.. okay !  

Aug 2, 2012

an interview

this story happened last monday..
not much left,just elaborate from the photo that has taken during the trip..

a view from our room at the PUTRA HOTEL

i'm ready for the interview and yes i'm look so kampung but who cares
indoor view

miss the old me

blow the july away.. fuuuhhh
now my life is about sitting at home scroll down my twitter timeline and fall asleep in front of my lappy and when i woke up its already 6 o'clock in the evening.. my mind is likes already set up when should i wake up so i never missed my iftar since AUGUST is a fasting month for this year..
then i took a shower and ready for iftar..
for tonight event i watch my lil' brother played the fireworks outside the house for sure and its enough reminds me back to my childhood where i played the firework along with my sister and all of my cousin..
we've tried something extreme with the firecrackers and laugh till we can't even catch our breath.. what a wonderful childhood i ever had.. i wish i could turn back on time..

right now at this moment i have nothing to do.. i feel like i want to be alone for all the time..
i'm not sure what am i suppose to do because whenever i plan for something the plan will never work..
that why i trust this words "unplanned moment is better than planned one" but it is also impossible for me to always follow with the flow of this life cause the risk is too high unless i'm a type of girl who can ignore the people around me..

i had tried it before and looks like i'd failed..
before i enter to matriculation i planned not to care about the people around me no matter what happen but its too selfish and i realise that i couldn't live alone for all the time because i need to help whoever in need even i didn't get anything in return cause for me a help is not like someone owe you something but it is something that you must give and never take.. 
*that only my opinion* ;)

that's why no matter how best the institute that we're get in if our attitude never gave our life the best we still cannot survive.. seriously i miss my matriculation life !
i miss the time i've got something to do
i miss the time when i'm able to wake up early in the morning
i miss the time where i sat on my chair and doing me own work
i miss the time when all of my roommate fall asleep afte the class and its including me
the thing that...,
i really miss is the time where four of us struggling our best so all the insect that exist in our room know that they didn't belong in there.

*and i miss this hair !

Jul 29, 2012


there must be something behind all this..
i have know idea how to accept all this when everything that is given to me is about a lie.. is there is no true thing is this world,in this life..? *wondering*
i know i should never blame the faith,the things that is written for me in my whole life till my last breath..
i just can't even think about it..!
am i to bad to live in this world,to breath equally like the others..
i really have no idea which part did i miss until i have to get through a kind of toughest one..

i'm not that strong..
my strength had gone..
or maybe i had laugh so hard until i never realise that the laugh will gave me the most sad life in return..
i don't know !
i just can leave everything to Allah and try to live even i had fail in trying..
maybe the glory is not by today but the day when Allah think that i deserve to feel it..
if there is no one out there willing to do everything for me then i pray and willing to do everything to avoid from meeting people and approach them..
life is do hard ! 
If Allah wills it one day i will never drop even a tear for anything that happen in my life bcause i'm not strong enough to face all this right now..

Jul 28, 2012

push it to the other side

this is some kind of stressful decision and condition..
i'm in between !
i need someone to help me to figure out this matter and first time in my whole life i called it as a serious one.. and is this SERIOUS ?!!
i am not a big girl yet mummy ! sorry if i always put everything on you and leave evrything for you to handle alone it just i don't want to argue with you.. i know i never want to listen for any of your suggestion.. it doesn't mean i'm disobey you,i just aim for my ambition and if the course that is given to me didn't ensure me to work in hospital,curing as my life as i could i'll refuse to accept it mum.. i know its hard for you but without you knowing it is also killing me.. i will never ever could concentrate during my lecture..

and i want to say thanks for applying the private university for me and its really meant to me..
and now i don't want to take back my words..
the interview is on 30th.july and i have only two days start from this second..
my heart beat faster now and i just have to wait till that moment gone so i could exhale perfectly..
the truth is i need a hug right now ! *faint

Jul 22, 2012

great stuff !

okey ! this is kind of cool !
i've been looking at this for too long and finally i'd got it..
red always be my favourite ! 
once i wore you at my feet felt like i won't take you off..
*triple thumbs up 

Jul 20, 2012

you can fly..?


something fabulous be a part of our family now..
sugar glider !
but it is not mine..its belong to my sister..
she have a pair.. ~the end~

Jul 16, 2012

something to get off my mind !

now i feel like i must find for another way out..!
but until now i don't even get any idea how..
everyone said that i must accept it and just give it try
HELLO ! that is soo not a try let me tell you it is such a waste !
i do not want to waste 3 years just to attend the class and lecture that i don't even want to..
mine is all about being at the hospital either work as a doctor or maybe a pharmacist..

i never doubt the thing that is given to me..
i accept it as sustenance but what is the used if after all this year i haven't get enough sleep just want to get a better result and i'd got it but the course that i ever wanted i don't even get it.. was it fair ?

that is soo unfair !
right now i can't think briefly !
here the result from UPU fucking shit system for student intake !

Jul 7, 2012

a trip

 wwooouuuhhh !
what a fantastic planning..
it start with just a fast conversation between us,an approaching after a long time haven't been contact each other..
finally now we already at KUALA LUMPUR enjoying our trip together..
thursday night we speed up our car and get away from the place name INDERA MAHKOTA..
okey feeling soo tired to write the news for this while so i leave it to photo to tell all of you.. gudnite ~

Jun 25, 2012

less than 12 hours

half a day time for me to get downtown and get to know what happen around me..
seem like not much changes just the way it is..
nothing we as kuantanese get if we spend our lifetime living here..
but i've got this..

memory of photos

a long day with her
something got to boost from this mind but seem nothing else left

real journal !

this is the real things i had been through in my whole life..
waking up quite early in the morning,taking a shower and put on my working outfit..
what a bored life..!
i only got one day in a week for my own..
rarely meet my friends to hang along like i did before..
work,work and work !
i miss my old life were i had something useful to think off and do something fun for myself not like now i don't even had enough time for my own.. sometime i skip my breakfast and sometime i skip my early sleep time..
even more worse than my life at matriculation bfore..

at least i had enough sleep but now i only spend 4~5 hours a day for sleep..
that is not a good sign for my health..
my eyes look just like a PANDA and its so unacceptable

Jun 18, 2012


wooww !
no more a million years !
i don't have to wait for another years to have a new gadget to accompany me all the time whenever i need it..
no it is right here in front of me..
actually the official date when did i got my "BASKY" i don't even remember because its happen in just a blink of an eyes..
it is like i am dreaming..
arghh ! no idea what else words should i write to express how happy i am right now..
what a sweet fortune !
this is my new lappy-lappo.

May 29, 2012

the end forever

thank You ALLAH !
this blessing Tuesday the first thing i saw right after i woke up from the couch is my final result for the very final semester in matriculation program..
i open up my eyes,
stand up properly,
looking for my laptop and connect the broadband..
the first name i've type at the google search was f.a.c.e.b.o.o.k..
the reason why i'm looking for this web is just to know how many people has know their result..
then i ask one of my classmate the official account to know for my result..
my heart beat faster and faster until it is successfully connected..
finally everything gave me a good and great fortune..
thank You ALLAH..
i haven't waste every second in my life for the whole program in matriculation..

May 23, 2012

thump ! thump ! thump !

okey what noise is that ?
wondering where does it came from..?
its from the inside of my chest and what makes it produces that such a loud one..?
let me tell you..
6 more days to go for me to know how much effort that i had spend for the whole second semester..
but after everything that i had done after everything that i had sacrificed ,now i can able to leave it to ALLAH and pray because only ALLAH ALMIGHTY..
insyaallah ALLAH will always be there..
there's a boy who come between my way and tell me that he loves me !

we work at the same place but different department..
he wants to look after me for all the time and say that he never want to let go of me..
and he kinda cute hard to deny.. FULLSTOP !

May 19, 2012

part time job !

halloo !
busiest life ever..
work,work and work..
my beat hear for the corn popping in the warmer
when i stare upon the popcorn i feel like i want to swim in it so i could kill two bidr with one stone..

*frozen kit kat,my new recipes
YEAH ! and this is the bored me..
sitting alone at the place that known as satelite..
this is the thing that i'm able to do if there is nothing left to say..
no much idea to write ! gudbye~

May 16, 2012

got sumthing to be given out !

Thank You ALLAH..
12 days been working from 10 o'clock in the morning till midnight..
i had earn RM 400++
and yesterday evening i had spend a few of it for sumthing special for someone special..
not much word to say just want to express the impress..

green color handbag by POLO
words printed wallet by RUCINI
lovely TRENDY ME perfume by SILKY GIRL
big gift box by MISS T


the earth is spinning makes the time is moving and our life goes as it is..
unconsciously we living in this end of century but never thought how many years more for this little world will end its day..
being love with someone make us be much more confident to stay on with our own life but fall in love couldn't guarantee us to be in right feeling all the time because the person that we thinking of still not ours until we have a confident to speak of our feeling..
then,it is what we call a risk !
we like someone and it doesn't mean the person we like will feel the same..
we will never get the luck in everything we do because its more to faith..
i'm wondering when my life will be  as lucky as the one who had owned everything in their life at my age.. why i'm not chosen to be one of them..
when someone want to know me it will never last..
i have no idea which part did i missed..?!
i need a strength to breath in right,
i need someone that appreciate my existence other than my own family and close friend,
i need a shoulder where i could borrow when i'm in need, 
i need one arms to catch me whenever and wherever i fall
i need the one who knows when i cry because i'm a type of person who will cry on my own and be in silent when i'm in trouble..
but i believe the time will come and he will realize that i was around without speak a word of mine..

May 14, 2012

a gift for "A GIFT" !

since today was already 14th.may.2012,then i had miss the biggest day for my beloved mum which is 'MOTHER'S DAY'..
everyone know yesterday was the day and every members of GSC know that yesterday also the day they got a pay for their job but for me and maybe a few more still didn't take for a cash..
planning to buy sumthing for my mum but since there is no enough money in my pocket i had to cancel all of it but today's evening i'll fulfill all the thing,set it up in the huge box and a hand-made card(in progress) on top of it and her fav chocolate.. can't wait to see the perfect ending of it.. i'm goin' to make the greatest mother's day ever in her whole life for this while..actually i'm planning to baked for a heart shape chocolate chip's cookies but    the time didn't gave me a favour to do it..

here some ideas :
1.explore for a cute handbag
2.looking for a perfect shoes
3.wrap it with a beautiful wrapping paper
4.chocolate from FAMOUS AMOS(delivery to her office)*great !

just FYI....

Apr 27, 2012

cooking or watching ?

ωηατ θε χελλ ης γοινγκ ον !
*the above sentence is nothing its just a computer error..
okey as a lady-born-to-be kitchen is the place where we need to enter to make things happen..
kitchen provided a perfect environment to cook anything or bake anything..
since this is my holy_month there is too much time to spend on cook lesson..
today is BUTTERMILK's day..!
get the recipes at the back of the packing pack of the buttermilk's powder..

there you go..!! good job sis.. 

maybe there're another doors

one chance had closed and i still believe that there are still others waiting for me to accept their proposal..
after struggling for more than 5 month now all of that things had relieved but still have sumthing huge in this spongy brain to think about.. so the conclusion here even we've finished our contract as a matriculation student,it doesn't mean everything is done.. making a choice on choosing a better place for my next stop point since my next destination need a very perfect preparation from every aspect and every angle..
this APEX university didn't think i'm good enough for their university since they had reject my petition completely by writing this when i log in to their mail..maybe this is not my luck didn't side my for this university..but i believed ALLAH is always there for me..He had sumthing better for me or maybe perfect one..the time will come..wawa said that this APEX university only choose those who got 4.00 pointer for PSPM I.. since i'm not one of them thus i am not listed to attend for the interview..

Apr 26, 2012

break-my-leg !

it is like whooaaa !!
i still cannot believe that i'm home for a real..
mean this time i am totally out from the 'busiest' place..!
personally i love to spend most of my time on study rather than do other stupid things since i'd set in my mind matric life is for study gain as much knowledge as i could..
but now i'm no longer stick with that "setting".. it has been a long time i haven't write an article about my daily life without all this social connection about less than 5 month like living in a world with nothing unless books,serious people and all kind of bored things.. every single day i meet a same people same road to take same food in the same time.. there is only one thing that makes matric life differ than the other.. the uses of time,at matric we all people,from matriculation student itself to the head-of-that place bring our mind into a fast lanes of living..what makes people think time is priceless,it just because if we missed only a second we could lost a bundle of knowledge that we should get between that,there's no reason for one to say "sorry,i don't have enough time" because until the end of our life also we could never ever get enough time if we couldn't make a good use of it..
i would never ever thought that i could adapt the environment..
today and now was my last day i be at the matric,living as a student..
started at 4o'clock in the afternoon on 26th.april 2012 i'm free from 'controlling' life.. hurray !!


Mar 4, 2012

mum's assignment

practicing a life time study..
even her age already 39 years old but she still want to be a student..
under HUMAN RESOURCES courses for only one year she have to finished it once she had started it..
but its quite fair that all of our family members being with books and all the things that related to study environment..
you now have be a student attend for a lecture stay up all night long just to finished up your assignment and its same goes as her two daughter.. the first child in the family was at UITM KUALA PILAH managed to be in "food technology" course and the second one was at PAHANG MATRICULATION COLLEGE taking a life science course(that's me !)..

everyone is study even they already have a kid.. this fact i'd only heard from others mouth but now in this blessing year of 2012 it is happened to our family.. you go mum.. you now a student..! yeaayy..
business management is one of the subject that you have to learn.. assignment given on the very first day you attend your lecture.. this is the thing that she need to search in order to finish up her assignment..

strike for 'A'.. everything is about FUTURE

Ya Allah fewer had caught me and makes me feel so uncomfortable to stay alive and do any works that haven't finished yet.. just now i've took a long shower since i'd just got back from a place where there is lots of germ and anything that unable to see with our naked eyes.. the place that i meant is some place where you could spend your holiday with all of your family members when there is no where else place to go.. "AGRO RESORT SMUJI"..! this place maybe could be the last choice for holiday because there are lots of things that i want to share with all of my readers about this kind of place..
this type of name has been listed to be one of a chosen person to join another 189 individual for one programs that was organised by 'head of science's unit' known as STRIKE FOR 'A'.. i have been told that the objective of this programs to maintain the number of 4-flat student among KMPh and increase it by giving a chance for students who neared missed in their PSPM I that given range of result 3.50 and above.. without wasting much words i would like to go into the nutshell.. on 2nd March 2012 the date where most of pahang matriculation student are allowed to spend their weekend at their own lovely home while the rest 190 students have to be at the jungle that surround with many kind of lakes and having a thought on how to get all A's in every subjects for   PSPM II is quite unfair.. for a very short time that is only 2 days and 1 night where there is not many activities that could be done but its enough impressed me when the organizer managed to make it happen where all the things that is told us before the camp have been done properly same as in the schedule.. 

CHEMISTRY,PHYSICS,BIOLOGY and MATHEMATICS are all the subject that we had learned during the camp.. learn on how to tackle an exam question and how to make a very perfect choice in making a choice on choose for a right question.. **there are to many CHOICES have to be made in order to complete our task in this life..!**  

left princess i called her 'madu'(madi)
right princess i called her 'zulaika cantek'(zulaika)

      the above photos said that everything is about people who could breath the air..
 there is too many words either to be written.. 
let us follow our next routine for every entry.. photo always complete everything..

 the above photos want to show that the unique of nature and green pigment molecule that is produces by the reflected of the light ray reaction occur in the photosynthetic pigment of green plant..