Jun 30, 2013

just stop it !

today was the last day of June and it goes wrong to me like insane one.
or maybe its a sign that July gonna be as crunchy as cocoCrunch,in sya Allah but yet still feel bad about today.. hello people ! it is Sun-day ! and it is weekend ! why must you gave me a damn !
before i proceed to the next movie i think it is more proper if i start with 00.00 am.

00.00 am : fall asleep like seriously ?! how come i've drank two cup of coffee about 12 hours before and it taste like s**t. too much coffee !
01.15 am : woke up and immediately stand on my feet. OMJAYYY ! its already 1 in the morning.
01.35 am : took a shower and its freaking cold,I'm freezing
02.45 am : switch on my laptop and continue with my study as its already Sunday,tomorrow got mini test for addition.
04.35 am : poouufff~ black out. WTF ! I'm all alone in the living room at this time. Call my housemate who already slept in the room as i can't even move my ass,then again i do the technician work,dealing with fucking fuse box.
04.56 am : alone again and took all of my stuff and continue in my room.
09.24 am : suddenly fall asleep as my head were spinning around and all i remember the last word that i read in the blue covered book of Biochemistry before i black out was 1,25-dihydroxyvitamin D3.
13.21 pm : woke up and survive before i took a shower.
15.35 pm : finished with my shower and ready to hunt for food

the real drama started....,

walk down the stair.
walk out from this place,

there's no food at the first destination and i was asking
"still want to look for food ?"
she replied, "ikot lah"
me was like what the hell man ! just now you were like okay lets go find a food then you were saying "ikot lah",
suddenly she said "there's got one restaurant front there and i want to go"
me : " hey fuck off ! you asked me to go with you thought we want to eat along but then you were like better i eat alone"
this is so fucking stupid ! 
then find for something else to eat and drink at the grocery shop. paid ! Walk to the "restaurant" that she said just now and it closed. since i talking to the phone then i walk first but then she walk faster and left me behind even when i've yelled for her name yet she ignored me like she didn't hear anything. I don't even know that she was deaf.

its already second semester and i know you very well my dear. I never tell anyone about you but you tell everybody about what cross in your mind about me and others.

go ask your own self before you judge others. Even our 'sister' also said the same things and yet you ignored her words and be the same you. If you don't want to listen to others word then don't asked for others opinion. soo IRRITATING ! 
**end of story for 30th june 2013. 

Jun 29, 2013

save your life with LOVE

a day left !

this is who i am now ! as June about to come to it end me is trying to change and hoping for July to be nice and better month for me,in sya Allah. 

Jun 20, 2013

fade away

Hello Thursday !
Did i ever realised that its already June. Can't remember when was the last time i post my entry but i miss it like a lot.
List-Of-Reasons-Why :
1.its 2013
2.already second semester
3.got test every week
4.need to draw lots of body's cells
5.submit assignments
6.attending the lectures
7.visiting the cadavers
8.clean up the mess
9.take a showers

those reasons are actually excuses why i had turn into inactive from hyperactive blogger. I need my spirit right back again,spirit where i care only for my books and those knowledge but yet still know how to approach people around me and be extra-friendly person. I'm still 19 and still got "teen" in my age so its not the time yet for me to move to the next level or phase in my life but i noticed the changes ! my life is different ! kind of bad different. Who said different is good ? its not my fortunate perhaps.
here i noticed people make friends for important. I noticed the environment was fake. I noticed when they smile for reasons. Maybe i shouldn't think much about it and get back to the purpose why i was here and why i chose here rather than UMT or USM. Medicine ! studying medicine for saving people's life. studying medicine because it was the only person i want to see when i grow up. Allah had ease the paths so i could be one of the medical student and alhamdulillah for the sustenance,for sure i won't let go of it. 

Now I facing the difficulty in surviving but then I was thinking its already second semester and I was really close to the end,all I have to do is stand still and be strong. Today I woke up because i had made it,made it to survive for yesterday. Today I still could stand on my own feet why not tomorrow and next. Allah had well planned. He knows what is the best for me ! He want me to learn how to differentiate between crystal and glass so that we wont kept the wrong thing where both are values but which one is the best depends on our experienced in choosing.

That's what i've learned throughout a year of being here since this is my very first time I stayed far away from home,like 100 miles away.! This is the story of how me as a survival struggling to survive but its not the reason why i chose "FADE AWAY" title. 

the title more to values that people thought they know how to handle it nicely but actually they failed. 


do they really know how to make it interesting ? do they really know what is the purpose of having this
 -ships at the end of "friend"? do they ? here i haven't see any ! maybe I only observe a few or what i'd experienced by myself. Honestly they don't and it way different goes to my life before where my friends know the value of friendships. On the first day I was here I be a normal me. The girl who say Hi to everybody without feeling shame and yet they were like what the hell and they were like "excuse me ! we're in college not high school." Then I was thinking maybe being friendly is kind of crime here so to avoid me from been caught better be "weird". Weird here means not normal,not doing the normal things. 
the question now 'where does the values gone ?' Are they left it home and forgot to bring it back here once they're coming home ? still got no answer for that !