Jun 20, 2013

fade away

Hello Thursday !
Did i ever realised that its already June. Can't remember when was the last time i post my entry but i miss it like a lot.
List-Of-Reasons-Why :
1.its 2013
2.already second semester
3.got test every week
4.need to draw lots of body's cells
5.submit assignments
6.attending the lectures
7.visiting the cadavers
8.clean up the mess
9.take a showers

those reasons are actually excuses why i had turn into inactive from hyperactive blogger. I need my spirit right back again,spirit where i care only for my books and those knowledge but yet still know how to approach people around me and be extra-friendly person. I'm still 19 and still got "teen" in my age so its not the time yet for me to move to the next level or phase in my life but i noticed the changes ! my life is different ! kind of bad different. Who said different is good ? its not my fortunate perhaps.
here i noticed people make friends for important. I noticed the environment was fake. I noticed when they smile for reasons. Maybe i shouldn't think much about it and get back to the purpose why i was here and why i chose here rather than UMT or USM. Medicine ! studying medicine for saving people's life. studying medicine because it was the only person i want to see when i grow up. Allah had ease the paths so i could be one of the medical student and alhamdulillah for the sustenance,for sure i won't let go of it. 

Now I facing the difficulty in surviving but then I was thinking its already second semester and I was really close to the end,all I have to do is stand still and be strong. Today I woke up because i had made it,made it to survive for yesterday. Today I still could stand on my own feet why not tomorrow and next. Allah had well planned. He knows what is the best for me ! He want me to learn how to differentiate between crystal and glass so that we wont kept the wrong thing where both are values but which one is the best depends on our experienced in choosing.

That's what i've learned throughout a year of being here since this is my very first time I stayed far away from home,like 100 miles away.! This is the story of how me as a survival struggling to survive but its not the reason why i chose "FADE AWAY" title. 

the title more to values that people thought they know how to handle it nicely but actually they failed. 


do they really know how to make it interesting ? do they really know what is the purpose of having this
 -ships at the end of "friend"? do they ? here i haven't see any ! maybe I only observe a few or what i'd experienced by myself. Honestly they don't and it way different goes to my life before where my friends know the value of friendships. On the first day I was here I be a normal me. The girl who say Hi to everybody without feeling shame and yet they were like what the hell and they were like "excuse me ! we're in college not high school." Then I was thinking maybe being friendly is kind of crime here so to avoid me from been caught better be "weird". Weird here means not normal,not doing the normal things. 
the question now 'where does the values gone ?' Are they left it home and forgot to bring it back here once they're coming home ? still got no answer for that !