Nov 18, 2011

new start

the clock is ticking,
the day is moving,
the sun is rolling down,
the earth is spinning,
the heart is hurting...,
and tomorrow is the new beginning..
the beginning for a new semester new environment after been 2 weeks sitting at home doing nothing unless facebooking,crying,laughing,playing and also writing.. i've started to miss you.. MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY..
i go to a place where you're worked.. two days just want to see your face,just want to meet you but i can do nothing.. i cannot talk to you,i couldn't hold your hands,i cannot say goodbye to you,i cannot share my story with you what i've been through all this week.. the only thing i can do is just watched you from far,pretending that i'm there for playing and yet you was there you stare at me and i'm wondering what is in your heart saying about me once you saw me.. i've tried to call for your name but i can't,i can't because my heart beat faster than ever.. i afraid you might scold me or ask me to go away or you might chase me or maybe you will never ever want to look upon my face.. your last text wrote that you really hate me.. what am i suppose to do,i still need you,my heart is still beating for your name after it is written that my heart is yours.. on wednesday i saw you at the gumball's machine.. you was so happy talking with all of your friends but i still wondering "how's your inside?". i know you still in pain.. its killing me when we tried to avoid me,you walk away from me.. i know you want to go to the counter but i was there on that time so you go to your office.. see,your avoiding from meeting me.. my heart beat faster and faster,i've felt so nervous.. that are not only a butterfly flew over in my stomach i also could feel like a bird and also a dragonfly in here.. you will never know how thankful i am because you was there.. even i know i will never ever could talk to you,could hear for your voice but as long as you are there,i can see your face enough for me to know that you are just fine.. i miss to ask you"how's your day?".
i miss to ask you"have you got up from your bed yet?"..

like its just happened yesterday.. i've spend time with you,you treat me the BIG MAC and yours is DOUBLE G.C.B.. drive thru and eat in the car together. but now that moment had gone just like that,JUST LIKE THAT ! ALLAH have gave me such a short period of happiness.. a very short one like my life but that short time gave me longest memories for me to remember.. i remember everything about you.., 
your smile,
your smell,
your laughter,
your voice,
your advices,
your madness,
your text,
and the one thing i will never ever could erase from my mind

it is hurting me when now you are no longer mine.. my heart is stop beating when i said to myself 'he is no longer yours shafirah,why you waste his love before and now take that risk'.. 

yesterday(thursday,17th.november.2011 : 10.26pm)..,
i saw you sitting on the blue chair,and suddenly you looked at me and you was surprised.. you know that you've surprised me ! you suppose to be at home,rest yourself up after you've been working for six days but yet you still came to check out for your place even that is not your working time.. my heart is beating faster and faster and when i entered you already gone,GONE TO NOWHERE ! i've been searching for you,looking to every angle of that place so i could see your face again before i go back to matric today but after i've finished my last game also i didn't see you at all.. "where are you?" i've started to wondering why you walk away from the place you've sat in fact you TOTALLY HATE ME,you don't want to know me at all,you refuse to remember me.. WHY ?
my mind is always thinking of you !!
my heart is always saying about you !!
my mouth is always calling for your name !!
my hand is always want to send a text to you !!
but the'always' have frightened me to make a move cause i afraid it could hurt you.. i just let my heart in pain as long as it is not yours.. i can feel that your heart is still beating for me.. is still waiting for me.. but if it is not nevermind as long as mine is still there for you.. waiting until you are here.. I'VE PROMISE THAT THIS HEART IS JUST FOR YOU.. i will never ever stop waiting until ALLAH took away my life and that feel will separate from my body.. you've stole my heart and you still keep it that's why i know where can i found for my heart.. looking for you and i'd found mine ! 

yesterday life

 *meet this girl name farsha
today was my last day i've been siting at home..
so,yesterday brings me a lot of joyful moment.. have gone to MEGALANES for a short activity.. tooks about 2 hours for bowling, half an hour for supper and another half for walking and gossiping..
that's what is happened when a girl meet the other girl = girls day out !
not much story could describes that moment,just let the photos tell us the story..
*mlz nk tulis