Mar 31, 2013

Never change

Things are still the same,nothing change and I'm very sure it won't change till I'm out from here. That's the only way but there's only one thing I won't it to happen. My mum know about this. She was 100 miles from here and I got less chance to be home. Everytime my mum called I'll said that everything was fine but deep inside I was like "mum I wish you were here all the time please be with me". 
I can't,I can't and I can't say that cause I want she know that her daughter was strong enough to deal with life far from home. Before I still can be at home every weekend but now I can't cause it just wasting my time.
Honestly,I hate my life here and I admit I was pretending that I'm enjoy it all the way but the truth is I'm so not.!i don't know which part did i missed until I'd be in this kind of situation. Just if I could run as far as I could cause I cannot accept anyone here anymore. Everyday I cried and prayed so things will getting better but seems I need more strength to stand another day till 5 years..
People here didn't know what does the friends mean to them. I found its hard to find for even a friend that really could stick with us.. Everyday also I said to my mum that I need car so I'm not depending on others car. In sya Allah I will got it soon. Now all I need to do is stay strong and leave it to Allah cause He got better plan for me..

Mar 29, 2013

lil'shafi got advices.

welcome back #shafirahrosli..!
i have only ten fingers but now seems like i cant use it to count how many month i haven't walk on this land of "GREAT AND POWERFUL".
countless for an active little blogger in the big blog world.
*applying lotion*
my fingers are ready to dance again on the kitchen of words that most of people called it keyboard.
hold your tumbler and ready to face all the words that coming up next.

*pressing the space bar*
slowly dancing,deeply taking breath and hardly push the brain to create new recipe on how to make words become sentences and story in one.let everything go and keep my finger healthy..
its sounds so inappropriate but that's the fact.
before i continue my journey to the top of the hill let me introduce most of the creatures around that never been introduce before.
Penang..! yup i did mention before that this kind of state is where i stayed now and 5 years more. Attending the lecture,joining the practical class and presenting in the small group discussion were part of my journey and things that i couldn't skip in everyday routine so that's why i would like to say that i love this kind of life.. means by busy life because its like i've got something to do instead of spending time with sleep and lay on the bed. sound boring if its really happened haa..
just so you know this feeling had taking control of me until i'd consumed all the energy that i should save for the next day. Excuse Me..! too many words here.. (high pitch...)

now the story begin..,
end of first semester break is just in a few days..(happened about month ago.!)
finally i can meet my house after been 2 month i stayed penang.
firt person i met once i step on the tar-made road on the Kuantan's land is my mom. Honestly i miss her soo much on that time and glad could meet her.. no touching story allowed.!
then i spent most of my time being home and exploring my house every single day as i know i have to leave it soon. and now i have to face Penang..!

since i always meet my mother i tell her most of the things that i experienced here..
first sentences that she said is :
"as long as we live be nice to everybody equally without asking and expecting for any reward from doing that"
what if we stayed 6 people in the house but we the one who always do all the housework.
second advice :
"anywhere we go keep that place clean even no one care of doing so"
mother your daughter will spend more than an hour when she taking a shower so she dont like using dirty toilet thus she will clean up the bathroom everyday even there're another two more used it and do not know how does the clean toilet looks like.
third advice :
"when you brush up the toilet floor it is considered as exercise so do it and never complain"
but then the electricity is very poor,most of the time it will switch off and black out so one of us need to turn it on at the fuse box,mom the reason we stayed 100 miles from home is to be a doctor not a technician.
fourth advice :
"my daughter Allah promised that every pain you've been through in your life will gave you a big reward hereafter or maybe soon or later so accept it with open heart and never stop praying"

finally i just surrender in complaining and continued watching the television with all the advises playing in my mind until now. once i reached here,Penang i continued doing it but most of time i still complained but not to those who around me but to my journal instead. *sigh*
that's how my second semester brought to me. challenging but taught me to stop complaining.
 there is always a light at the end of the tunnel