Mar 31, 2013

Never change

Things are still the same,nothing change and I'm very sure it won't change till I'm out from here. That's the only way but there's only one thing I won't it to happen. My mum know about this. She was 100 miles from here and I got less chance to be home. Everytime my mum called I'll said that everything was fine but deep inside I was like "mum I wish you were here all the time please be with me". 
I can't,I can't and I can't say that cause I want she know that her daughter was strong enough to deal with life far from home. Before I still can be at home every weekend but now I can't cause it just wasting my time.
Honestly,I hate my life here and I admit I was pretending that I'm enjoy it all the way but the truth is I'm so not.!i don't know which part did i missed until I'd be in this kind of situation. Just if I could run as far as I could cause I cannot accept anyone here anymore. Everyday I cried and prayed so things will getting better but seems I need more strength to stand another day till 5 years..
People here didn't know what does the friends mean to them. I found its hard to find for even a friend that really could stick with us.. Everyday also I said to my mum that I need car so I'm not depending on others car. In sya Allah I will got it soon. Now all I need to do is stay strong and leave it to Allah cause He got better plan for me..