Oct 18, 2015

keeping the momentum

Hello October..! Hei people..!

October is such a cool month isn't it..? or maybe its just me the only one who think that October is "trying" to be nice to me. What made me said that is because its already 18th October and I am still single. Okay I'm not complaining.! Besides I'm not looking for a boyfriend why should I talk about it. Enough with October.. Okay October you can keep going till the end of your life just I need you to be a bit hurry,please. *begging face*

OMG..! clinical year I am in now..!
This is the most interesting topic to throw craps about in my post for this time. so yeah be prepared people..! Okay first of all Thanks Allah for this big thing. This is more than enough to ask as a medical student besides to pass in every exam or mini tiny and little test.

Kids..! Little creatures which I don't even know how handle especially when they're crying,screaming,jumping,running around or in other words "home run" and the most irritating part about them is that when they want to play with your gadget. Hey tiny human please realised that you're tiny and you don't even know how to swipe the phone screen to unlock. Maybe your toys are way more exciting than our iPhone or iPad or anything. Omygadd..! I really don't understand why must they get attracted with those gadgets when their toys like Playdoh, Lego, that tiny hotwheels cars, colorful rattles and too many to state in here since this post is not about introducing people of kids toys.

yeahh..! Here we come the real discussion about my first clinical posting. Peadiatrics department. In my batch we've been divided into 5 groups and different group went to different posting so that's the reason why I started with Peadiatric posting. At first we were very blurred like totally lost. We walked in to the Peadiatrics ward in Manjung hospital and just able to smile and acting cool.. We're trying to look cool when in our mind there was a mixed in thought at that time, but who cares right..? I only stick with these three people from the beginning till the end of peadiatrics posting. They are a coolest bunch of genius I would like to finish my third year with. The whole third year, until surgery posting, our last posting. I'm hoping for it..! but if we're not meant to be in the same group again for the next posting its okay,I guess..

erkk..! my laptop is about to drain out of battery and I forgot to bring the adapter.. and it is the most shitty thing ever happened. why can't gadget"s battery life stays forever. Come on..! kids love you gadget.. :/

Aug 7, 2015

struggle in life

peace be upon you and a very good evening.

yeap,August it is. You wanna know what is happening for the whole month of July..? to be honest I just let it gone pffttt just like that. Nothing much to remember about July, its like I skipped one month but I experienced 30 days of July. Okay I'm confused..!

Every day supposed to be a fresh new start to be a better person,a better person than we were yesterday. Its not that easy especially when you really got nothing to do,like NO THING to do other than changing channels between 613/614/615/616. (forever my favorite channels) When you sit alone by yourself having a cup of english breakfast black tea while reading a good book, out of the blue you will remember back the things you used to have a year or two years ago and you no longer have it now and will never have it again. Isn't it hard ? For me yes its fucking hard when you realised that you've grown old day by day and things keep on changing but the memories you've had will always remain at the back of your head.

The struggle that you have. People will never know. Never ever know because each and every one of us have a different problem. Do we have choice ? Actually no unless to accept it positively. Allah will never burden His servants with something that we couldn't handle. Yes sometimes I feel so broken inside out.That's the purpose actually. You will never know your creator if you were always at the top. He had told all of us whenever you feel lonely remember that I(Allah) will always here for you,whenever you feel upset I(Allah) is always The One who will wipe away all of our tears through His love letter.

I sometimes cried myself to sleep thinking about how I spent my life. I've been wasting it on something that I know I shouldn't do. People make mistakes yeah but people do have brain and its function is to think wisely. Lets say if you never experienced on handling one problem you will never know how to solve it. Honestly, I would make a stupid permanent decision when I let my brain and heart to decide. Then what else do we rely on in making decision. This is the right time to ask from God. You will not know the answer immediately like a few millisecond after you asked. Hell no..! but He will give you a perfect way out,where you didn't even realised its possible.

I cried cried and cried thinking how stupid I am in living my life. I should have done better. I laughed so hard like super hard every single day as well. People won't know the struggle I've been through in my everyday life. When I met a new bunch of people a first question they will asked is "Do you have a boyfriend?" -_- Dude..! come on..! Is it necessary to have one..? why do you make it like a compulsory to have one. I'm glad a job application form didn't have that question. --> "do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?" if they include that question in the application form I will be the one who spent my semester break watching cartoon all day all night.

damn..! its almost 4 am in the morning. No wonder I feel so fucking sleepy. I gotta go. Feel a bit motivated after reading this post..? Good cause I don't care. Actually.

Jul 4, 2015

the feelings

"Beautiful Disaster". Yeap these are suitable words that perfectly describe kind of disaster each and every one of us when they thought they have tried their very hard handling it but the fact is they were not. It's not that easy when it comes to feelings. Feeling is something that you,your own self couldn't even describe what was it and why was it existed when you didn't need it. That is why Allah reminds us to be careful with your heart. Play safe when it comes to feelings.! Never easily trust someone to hold your heart because even your heart is not owned by you and Allah is the true holder of your heart, thus believe in Him to keep your heart from being broken by a person. 

Living in this world full with something that have one head,two hands,two legs and being called human is way to complicated. Do you wanna know why ? because human have heart and brain that control them in the same time just different ways. Sometimes your brain tells you to go to the beach but your heart wants you to be alone at home reading love stories while enjoy a cup of tea. We might have two same things but it is not necessarily same in the way we think and feel. Philosopher one said "If you feels something about a person do not hesitate to tell him/her how does you feel about him/her". WAIT A MINUTE ! Invalid statement ! What I've learned through out my whole life is do not take signs given from others for granted. Some people do not know how to tell others what things that cross in their mind they will show you instead.

Dude ! Could you please don't easily judge or jump to conclusion immediately..? Just don't..! It is so not cool man.! The first thing is that you completely have no idea what had one gone thru in his/her life before you met that person. That person's heart might have been cheated on,played and broken. She already gave him everything but she got nothing in return. She have been patient to stay in relationship until she cried herself to sleep every night just to gain a strength in the next morning. She think about him all the time in hope he would do the same. She talked to God about him in her prayer everyday every night. In the end he simply said "I don't think its going to work between us". He simply walked away without even looked at her eyes. She tried to hold back her tears just to show how strong she is when actually the pain is killing her from inside and she falls apart at that time. 

Then,a month gone. She moved on but still at the back of her mind the memories are still there,sometimes she cries for no reason. She believes that no matter what nothing could change things that is already happened. Only she's able to change her life by let everything go. She trust nobody unless her own self. She believes that she will come across many good looking guys and guys who willing to drop everything for her. She continued her life differently. She appreciated her time being alone walk by the beach and have a cup of green tea all by herself. She now realised no matter how hard you want that person to stay in your life if they've decided to leave they will. We cannot force anyone to stay. 

You never know how's her life before. She might share a bit of her love life with you and you only know a few not all. There are some parts she can't tell because she doesn't want to remember every single thing. Never assumed..! Your life is completely different from others. There's must be a reason why she is so insecure and always pushed people around her. She have lost her trust towards people and she needs time because only time could heal every broken heart. 

Jun 25, 2015

favourite place

Peace to be upon my Muslims readers and good evening all..!

June arrived and its a holy month of Ramadhan. There's no excuses for kids out there not to fasting since Ramadhan this year is in the middle of the year and no holiday yet for them. Let me tell ya a bit of my childhood memories. When it comes to Ramadhan every year,as far as I remember I was like 8-12 year of age, the only thing I loves is performing 'Terawih' prayer at the nearest mosque with my childhood friends. Damn it was fun.! Totally.!

Tbh,we're not really went there to pray we were there just to play instead. But not for the whole 3 hours. When it comes to the last rakaat we will suddenly be at the very back row where none of the adult noticed us gone since the first rakaat. We ran like crazy from the playground which is only besides the mosque back in to the saf just to pretend that we're performing the shalat. Well,kids..! We love to play around.
At least I've got something for me to remember about my childhood. Awesome.! A perfect word to define it.

Now,I'm already 22 and there's no way I will do such things I did when I was a kid even though I miss doing it sometimes. *giggling*

Ouh,I forgot to tell that I've passed..! heyy people I've passed my first MBBS professional examination. MBBS..? well I also do not know what does MBBS stand for but Alhamdulillah.. Maybe Mr.Google can explain a way better than I could if you ask what is the meaning of MBBS. Just saying..! Technically, I'm free for a month and half. I will spent the whole fasting month at home in Kuantan which is I love it so so much. I also need to reset back my biological clock and remind myself that when night comes,its time to sleep. Still trying because I've fucked it up for more than a month back. Since,I'm in a holiday mood so I've got a lot of time for myself, do my own things and be in my own world. I didn't always being alone because I love talking and laughing but since I've pleased people for quite long,longer than I please myself, I guess its time to be alone for a while.

*running to the toilet*
Sorry for the delay.
Okay. Where are we again..? Holiday..! yeayyy for me again. Since its Ramadhan and I'm fasting from a first day so I've decided to make my everyday not a lazy day. Started from an early breakfast then as usual I went back to sleep after I finished read a few pages of "Safe Haven" book. I woke up around 11 or 12 and I went to check out the town if I ever missed anything or any road. Usually I will ended up my journey to the one and only beach in kuantan called Teluk Cempedak. Its already day 7th of Ramadhan and I always had my Iftar outside or at my grandma's house. After I done with everything I will get back to my normal routine which is reading. I read and I get bored so I grabbed my guitar and plugged it like I know how to play. For me as long as you know how to strum and know the chords you've already passed the basics. Haha.

3 o'clock in the morning.
I will changed my pajamas to a sport attire and work my ass off to be in shape. Fasting month not gonna stop me from working out. Okay I think that's all from me for the things that I constantly do since a first day I got home. Happy Ramadhan fella..!


Apr 4, 2015

21st century.

Peace be upon you.
Its been almost a year I haven't post anything or even check my blog's account and yet I still remember the password which is good because if I fail to sign in earlier I wouldn't bother to go back to my email and reset everything. Hell No People !

Since today is Saturday so I've got so much time to think and throw craps in here. Okay where to start ? actually I've lost in my own thought right now because there are so many things to think about.
Ooh I know first of all welcome to CYBERJAYA shafirah !
I'm in CYBERJAYA people I repeat CYBERJAYA. If ever you miss me especially my laugh I know right, just come and say hi, I guess it is more than enough. Or maybe wave from far. Or just smile.
The reason why I'm here is that I've switched to different university which slightly have the same name just the front letter is different because this one located somewhere in cyberjaya.

I won't tell you the detail of my university because I really don't give a fuck about it.
I'm here because medical profession need me in the future, If Allah wills.

69 days before professional examination. Okay that's random I know but trust me you wouldn't have time to even walk slowly if you know the facts that we as medical students need to know everything from the cell structures to the formation of hair because time is gold.

hahahilarious..! I said that but still I'm here try to post at least one entry for this new year of 2015 even though its already april but still in 2015. *flip hair*

CYBERJAYA is very hot so this is it for my entry. night fella !