Never change

Things are still the same,nothing change and I'm very sure it won't change till I'm out from here. That's the only way but there's only one thing I won't it to happen. My mum know about this. She was 100 miles from here and I got less chance to be home. Everytime my mum called I'll said that everything was fine but deep inside I was like "mum I wish you were here all the time please be with me". 
I can't,I can't and I can't say that cause I want she know that her daughter was strong enough to deal with life far from home. Before I still can be at home every weekend but now I can't cause it just wasting my time.
Honestly,I hate my life here and I admit I was pretending that I'm enjoy it all the way but the truth is I'm so not.!i don't know which part did i missed until I'd be in this kind of situation. Just if I could run as far as I could cause I cannot accept anyone here anymore. Everyday I cried and prayed so things will getting better but seems I need more strength to stand another day till 5 years..
People here didn't know what does the friends mean to them. I found its hard to find for even a friend that really could stick with us.. Everyday also I said to my mum that I need car so I'm not depending on others car. In sya Allah I will got it soon. Now all I need to do is stay strong and leave it to Allah cause He got better plan for me..

lil'shafi got advices.

welcome back #shafirahrosli..!
i have only ten fingers but now seems like i cant use it to count how many month i haven't walk on this land of "GREAT AND POWERFUL".
countless for an active little blogger in the big blog world.
*applying lotion*
my fingers are ready to dance again on the kitchen of words that most of people called it keyboard.
hold your tumbler and ready to face all the words that coming up next.

*pressing the space bar*
slowly dancing,deeply taking breath and hardly push the brain to create new recipe on how to make words become sentences and story in one.let everything go and keep my finger healthy..
its sounds so inappropriate but that's the fact.
before i continue my journey to the top of the hill let me introduce most of the creatures around that never been introduce before.
Penang..! yup i did mention before that this kind of state is where i stayed now and 5 years more. Attending the lecture,joining the practical class and presenting in the small group discussion were part of my journey and things that i couldn't skip in everyday routine so that's why i would like to say that i love this kind of life.. means by busy life because its like i've got something to do instead of spending time with sleep and lay on the bed. sound boring if its really happened haa..
just so you know this feeling had taking control of me until i'd consumed all the energy that i should save for the next day. Excuse Me..! too many words here.. (high pitch...)

now the story begin..,
end of first semester break is just in a few days..(happened about month ago.!)
finally i can meet my house after been 2 month i stayed penang.
firt person i met once i step on the tar-made road on the Kuantan's land is my mom. Honestly i miss her soo much on that time and glad could meet her.. no touching story allowed.!
then i spent most of my time being home and exploring my house every single day as i know i have to leave it soon. and now i have to face Penang..!

then..,
since i always meet my mother i tell her most of the things that i experienced here..
first sentences that she said is :
"as long as we live be nice to everybody equally without asking and expecting for any reward from doing that"
what if we stayed 6 people in the house but we the one who always do all the housework.
second advice :
"anywhere we go keep that place clean even no one care of doing so"
mother your daughter will spend more than an hour when she taking a shower so she dont like using dirty toilet thus she will clean up the bathroom everyday even there're another two more used it and do not know how does the clean toilet looks like.
third advice :
"when you brush up the toilet floor it is considered as exercise so do it and never complain"
but then the electricity is very poor,most of the time it will switch off and black out so one of us need to turn it on at the fuse box,mom the reason we stayed 100 miles from home is to be a doctor not a technician.
fourth advice :
"my daughter Allah promised that every pain you've been through in your life will gave you a big reward hereafter or maybe soon or later so accept it with open heart and never stop praying"

finally i just surrender in complaining and continued watching the television with all the advises playing in my mind until now. once i reached here,Penang i continued doing it but most of time i still complained but not to those who around me but to my journal instead. *sigh*
that's how my second semester brought to me. challenging but taught me to stop complaining.
 there is always a light at the end of the tunnel

white for hi-tech

*inhaled*
new year had comes and new thing had arrived.
telling a short story about my "bucky"..!
i was dreaming to have 'him' about month ago and finally my dream came true.
Thank You Allah for the sustenance..
now i introduce you to my mini "bucky"..

the reason i choose pink casing cause boy in pink was cute and 'he' looks cute in pink. *wink wink*

20.13

we've changed every single day even it has been added another one number to the numbers in the year (2012+0001=2013) but still didn't realised the changes. people were very busy thinking about their own life where most of them were like walking without looking,eating without talking,sleeping without dreaming.. world was the main idea in every thought. influence from the words "Live life to the fullest" perhaps or "things to do before i die".. arghh ! whatever ! i should start telling the story rather than crapping of how to clear people minds from that kind of thought. no-sense at all !

Let's feel the moment...,

31st december 2012 was my last day watching the big flat screen,staring at the books in my own cube,laying on the comfort couch with remote in my hand and eat lots of food with no charge. heaven haa ! that's why until now people put their trust on this quotes "Home sweet home" because its the fact that no one cant denied.. we able to taste,feel and smell all the sweetness once we're reached home. yeahh no place like home. should i compliment more.? i think that's enough since today i'm going back to Penang.. well everyone wish the college that they enter now was just beyond their yard and yeaa me ? also got the same thought. let me tell you one secret,sometimes we need to travel and stay so that the world knows our existence. we'll learn just a bit if every single day doin the same routines,at the same place,same time until the year end. world need to explore,time need to consume,body need to move so that everything will worth it like thousand ants that never stop working.. is it same.? i dont think my grandma care,huh.! 

back to our story., to make the journey sounds interesting....,

tup,tap,tup,tap was the noise of the black boot that hit the floor of the main mall in Kuantan around 5 o'clock in the evening.. the glass door automatically slides to open once i step on the big black carpet right in front of the door. main reason why i prefer to waste my time that i suppose to spend on reading was "outfit". i need something new to wear for college so thought that this mall got everything then puufff i found lots of thing but i didn't buy it all since i need to save my money for future. good plan,my mum will proud if she found out that her daughter knows how to save money.. *big smile*

Rest In Peace 2012..

HELLO New Year.!

the story begin when its almost 12 midnite where three of us met and decided to join the community to celebrate new year at the place named Teluk Cempedak since the rain had stop pouring so we could stay outside under the open sky. as we know this kind of event makes half of Kuantanese stay up all night just to watch how people amused their self at first but then most of them change their mind and gone wild. in just 30 minutes the place had been filled up with crowds. squeaky noise of the plastic trumpet been blow,the white foam that appears when the sprayer been pressed. common things during new year celebration. used to it. -..- people get out of control and chasing each other like damnn..! huhh,feel the tired of running by telling all this.. now need rest since i haven't sleep yet. *faint*

up another one

story of two days ago..

lets begin our new chapter with the old journey in my life.21st of november was my day.!

the day before,i was like doing some other kind of activity which i also have no idea what name should be given to the activity but all i know it is soooo fucking bored but i used to laugh at some part and consider it as fun,perhaps.. the sound of the cricket rubs it wings that could stunned everybody who hear it was the sign of a silent night.. at our house which located at the third floor of the block there're only three of us left and for sure no interesting things to do unless dealing with book and open up a gossip with my roommate that sometime we break the silent late night with our giggling and laughing..

yeahhh.. *take a breath*

at 12 mid night there's someone coming and knock our wooden door asking either if my other housemate was here cause got "something" to show her(hanis) and suddenly they singing out loud outside our house with a birthday song and both of us lisa and me were so surprise and we just remember that she used to tell us about it before.. and the day was moving so fast until the clock sharply pointed at 8 o'clock in the night..

where the other housemate brings all of us out for dinner to celebrate hanis's birthday.. 

the sound of the car's engine make our plan goes smoothly and we reached at the restaurant.. once we enter the restaurant its all had been set up  with the food on the table and all we have to do is just eat that.. so dramatically !

make a short movies !

they bring out the cakes and suddenly its also written my name on it.. and they know my birthday but celebrate it one day before.. awesomeeaahhh ! on my "day" some of my friends at this college celebrate my birthday and drive me out to stay up all night in the Penang area and here i would like to say a very BIGG THANK YOUUU to all of youu.. 

what ever it is right now i really have no idea what else should i write cause i feel so tired and still want to write something so this old story never be the history and is written in the future..   

ouhh ! one more thing.. i would like to give a credit to those who wish me in the social networking.. that was awesome you guys.. i just able to like your post,full heart 'like'..

miles away from home

hello Sunday !
today is already 11.11.12 and it was a beautiful date for this year,i suppose to be home at this time,at this moment.
yeah i already 19,i need to learn how to live without fully depends on home and most of things i had before i was here, but its a week break and i really think i need to go home now.. for sure its too late to think about being home now cause i should make that decision 3 days ago so i will never feel regret in the end.

now i started to miss my old friends.. all of them..! arab yusry,diyana azizan,scha alia,atiqah mustapa,aiman butang and etc. it feels like heaven if i can meet all of them and spend a long day together sharing about our new life and everything.. i miss all of you so badly..! true friendship that never end even future had tears all of us apart. wish there's no end in our friendship and wish all of you know how wonderful it is if we could meet each other. 

bounce back

FAILURE !

it is not something that could stop me from move on or walk forward.. i take it as a lesson and i promise it wont happen again.. never ever again ! not all the time we belong at the top thus most of the time life brings something that could take us down and everything is depend on how we judge it,how we learn from it and how we put our effort on it. failure is not forever it just in a mean time whenever we forget what had happened on the bottom and where does we belong before we get at the top. 

the second mini test doesn't gave me a great result and i have no idea which part did i miss until i got that lowest marks in my entire life i have ever sat for examinations. maybe i spend less of my time on study,maybe i take it easy on the certain part of the words in the notes or maybe this is not my sustenance yet.. only Allah have the answer.. all i have to do now is pray,pray and never stop praying cause that's what i suppose to do as His servant.. my secret weapon.! 

still young girl

yeah that's me !
i think 19 is still young.. we can make our own decision but we could stand with the decision without any advice or opinion from people around us who always stand for us.
its time to move on and think what is the best for our own self but dont forget the consequences cause no one want the bad end so expect the future wish for better.

LOVE

no thought to have a lover yet so stop asking me why and just be with me without thinking about who am i with or what type of person that suit me cause i have such along journey to go and much more step to take.. for this while to be in love doesn't matter and not the current issue that we should think about. just follow what life bring us and bring life to what we suppose to be. even now you was at the bottom bounce back to be at the top and once you already at the top dont forget where you're belong cause it will never stay for long.. everything that we've owned now not fully belong to us.. at one mean time He will take it back so be thankful and cheers every moment in your life as humble person who always know how to walk on the land that doesn't belong to us. 

first attempt !

story of last weekend..,
woke up at 11 am and my other housemate suggest to make the home-made spaghetti and they all brought the ingredient and we start with our plan. With no experience in cooking,with no knowledge about the method of making the spaghetti we just run with it ignoring what would be the result. Rice cooker was our pan and the plate was our chopping board.
tong,tang,tong,tang !
its already 2 pm and the spaghetti are save cook by all of us..

here's the lunch menu during weekend for 8 of us.. 

hoping for the perfect end

fuuhh..! *tiup habuk*
hello universe ! yeahh i'm still breathing and still know how to use the keyboard and surely still remember my blog's password. once i've step in here and write the entry title i couldn't turn back means i'm going to crap as many as i could.but its not really crapping-krebby-patty its more to tell most of journal for my whole journey here at Penang.it has been a month i'm staying here without worried,without married and without merit. haa? let's make great use of time !
The journey begin....,
with my first step to this kind of not really well-known university college at Kepala Batas,Penang named Allianze University College of Medical Science i know that i cannot have another step to go back home every weekend cause it took 9 hours from here machaa.or if i really need to go back home i might left my butt in the bus and surely i dont  want it to happen so yeahh i'm goin to spend my weekend being here without any thought to be at home.is it means that i'm homeless ? that's the other part of journey i expect it to be perfect but it start with the worse part and need to wait for another 5 more years to see how does it end. living cabin ! nope ! we all their student given a key to enter to our home where we get in whenever we lost,dont know where else to go,got no interesting place to hang out.
Teacher's Quaters !
this is the place where i live now and another 5 years.the place kind of spooky.the time i enter to this kind of place its like entering the caunseling room during my high school where the teacher ask me "why did you bring your phone to school?". -.- since i have no right to choose where i want to live so i have to accept it with open mind even i already closed my mind to accept it.three rooms with two bathroom and got balcony,kitchen with no kitchen's cabinet due to the termites and large enough living room for 6 person.
no matter how hard i complain i already in so i dont have to think much about it and do my job as a student here.study the medicine and being called as medical student makes me be more confident to say that i dont have much time to talk to you cause if i'm in the other course people might doubt me when i said "sorry i am busy right now".. ahahaha *gila* hehh,kisah pulak ! going through this first month perfectly even sometime the house make a fool with all of their visitors here.the electricity was very poor for you to know ! when i'm doing my work the lamp turn off and when i sleep the fan turn off. i also didn't get the point here. most of time i feel like doctors should learn how to handle the technician work since we all need to deal with the fuse box everytime there is no stable electric connection. so its normal if many doctors know how to fix any cable by itself without depends on technician. =.=' panas betol !
finish with living cabin and balcony all..!
now move to our assignment.medical student were asked to watch movies related to our course which the story are all about the hospital life and the part that i'm in between where i dont even know either i should smile or laugh which been asked to write a reflective essay for that movies.now its totally confusing me. is the doctors have to write such a long essay when they done diagnosis their patient.? or they want every of the doctors to write their own books once they got their license.. ouh or they want us to involve in politic life.. no,no,no.! its not gonna happen. not in a million years.(not complain !) just wondering.. life full of thought i guess so i have my right to think that way. :D

the awesome part being medical student was their books.. look here there're our books that we need to deal with for this first year only and buy another for second year and another for third year and another for fourth year and more on the fifth year,finally my book's rack become library.awesome haa.. =.=" but thats what we called sacrifices.. we may through such a tough life during study but we will enjoy doing our work in the end. treat people who in need,make people realise how important to keep healthy and make the coffee be our bestfriend(not healthy).

we live with books,we talk about books and we sleep with books.without realising that we already done that.! srapp *selak buku* means this entry had come to it end.thank you everyone for watching this movie.. have a good day ! *big smile*